In yet another blatant attempt to generate sales for my book Cthulhu Limericks, I created this promotional video, now live on the Bionic Eyes YouTube channel. You can check out the book in eBook and old school paperback formats through Amazon, Lulu, and other retailers.
The video has a rudimentary “plot” in which a reader picks up the book, and while reading a sample limerick is transported to a glitched out, eldritch world where Cthulhu darts forward to capture his prey!
In case you’re really sick of Christmas already, you might be interested in my book Kill Claus! A surreal science fiction tale inspired by bizarro fiction, the novel follows a young man named Sesam on a journey through a far distant, post-apocalyptic future in which “the Claus” is a fearsome monster that regularly culls the “human” population. After Sesam’s village is destroyed, he is forced to cross a forbidding landscape to get revenge on “the Claus.” On the way he runs into zombie Christmas trees, a mutant reindeer, flying jellyfish, a tribe of living snowmen, and many more strange creatures before he gets to the North Pole, where he must confront the Claus. A friend of mine called it the “most disturbing book” he’d ever read. High praise, indeed.
For those interested in checking out some of my books, eBooks are now available for my novels The Toothpick Fairy, and the entire Dishwasher series: Dishwasher on Uranus, Dishwasher on Mars, and Dishwasher on Venus. You can find these available for instant download on the Lulu website here. Eventually, these titles should propagate to multiple eBook formats and platforms, including Kindle, Nook, and Apple’s iBook. So if you prefer those formats/devices, then keep a look out for them. The list price is $3.99. I hope that’s not too high, but these other vendors take a huge cut, and I don’t seem to be able to set a lower price on Lulu, where my royalty rate is higher. In any case, this price is at least one third to one fourth the cost of the print copies.
I learned a few things about eBooks while I was formatting my titles. It surprised me that so little formatting is allowed: only three heading styles and a few fonts. Also, the text is not justified, an arrangement that forms a nice rectangular column in a print publication and which is much easier to read. Since I generally put much effort into the design and font selection for my print titles, it’s a little sad that the eBooks can’t reflect that. So if you want books with fonts and design, then hard copies is the way to go!
Anyone who’s actually living in the 21st century can now purchase and read an eBook version of Cthulhu Limericks, available now through Lulu. This is the full text of the print version, with the nifty cover art I painted myself. Even the title is spelled correctly!
This is the first eBook I’ve created myself, and it was a real chore to get the formatting right. Totally ridiculous how much trouble I had getting the paragraphs to indent. It finally looks decent, although I’m a little surprised at how little design is possible with an eBook. When I design one of my print publications, I make an effort to select a great looking font that suits the theme of the book, and carefully design the chapter headings, layout, and so forth. An eBook is far simpler, just being raw text in Times New Roman, with three layers of headings in Ariel. I guess anyone who reads eBooks already knows this. Being somewhat of a 20th century guy, I’ve never read an eBook. I still buy LPs, after all. Yes, that means vinyl records. I’m listening to one now.
The eBook is priced at $3.99. If that seems like too much, please let me know. However, keep in mind that when it appears on Amazon, Barnes and Noble and other sites, they take a huge share of that amount. This is still one third the cost of the print book!